The Family Identity Tool helps create that sense of belonging in our families for our kids by instilling a sense of team identity within our family unit. It gives our kids a place where they know they belong! A place where they know they are significant, safe, and loved. A place where they can learn about their culture, traditions, religion, and values. A place where they can discover more about who they are, what they believe, and how to live and grow to become a productive, contributing, respectful, and resilient human being. A place where they can make mistakes, be themselves, and still know that they are genuinely loved. A place where there are fair and firm boundaries. A place where there is fun, togetherness, helpfulness, and service. Creating a family identity provides a secure place for a child to thrive. We can create all of this for our kids through The Family Identity Tool.
It’s actually quite easy to apply The Family Identity Tool.
Here are a few ways to get started on creating the atmosphere of team in your family:
- Use the word “family” often—
- “I love our family.”
- “We are family–we can figure out a solution together.”
- Call your family a team often–
- “We are a team!”
- “Let’s clean up as a team.”
- “Let’s decide as a team.”
- Use your family name (this can be your last name or a made up name your family decides on as a team) to identify character traits that you value–
- We are the Hernandez Family, we treat others with respect.”
- We are the Williams Family, we choose kindness.”
- We are the Zhang Family, we help others in need.”
- We are the Patel Family, we choose to live with honesty and integrity.”
- We are Team Supreme, we can solve problems together.”
- As a team, come up with 1-5 words (values/character traits) that you want to focus on as a family. For example: Love, Respect, Trust, Responsibility, Service. And then COACH your kids with words and actions revolving around them. That is your new focus.
- Other ways to apply The Family Identity Tool—
- create a team song
- get team t-shirts
- come up with your own family handshake
- set boundaries around what you believe in.
We believe that any real-life parenting situation can always be connected to the fact that you are a family and that you are a team and that means that, together, you can work ANYTHING out. Focus everything you say and do around the character traits you want your kids to learn as members of your family. What an incredible way to establish belonging—which every kid NEEDS!
Running late for school is the worst. Correction…having to get 3 kids up and dressed and fed and out the door on time while you’re running late for school is the worst. (Perspective–We are blessed to have three kids. We are blessed to have food. We are blessed to have clothes. We are blessed to have a home with a door. And we are blessed to have a clock regardless of whether or not it says we are running late.)
But because we are a family and we are a team. I say: “Ok team…we can do this!” I encourage. I help. And as we get out the door just in the nick of time…we all give each other a high five. Because we did it! We made it out the door on time for school because we are the Leebs and we are responsible and punctual…and more importantly…we are a team!